"Well how much was the ticket?"
"I don't know, I just gave it to my Mom"  

"I was going to, but it was hard"

"It was kindness week at my school...And I didn't"

"What if a mute person has no hands"


Thursday, March 20

...My other friends

Name: Chad
Scripture: Revisiting James 4

OAP: Spring break is nice. I did something today that I pretty much never do, I hung out with friends from Bellarmine. I am different at school, not as in like two separate people, but definitely different purposes and priorities. Hmmm, from what I just wrote it sounds as if I do the whole fake try to fit in thing, I don't. School is for school. I often enjoy it, but that is not my intention. When I am there I don't care about making friends or having a good time, I get done what needs to get done and everything else is secondary. Outside of school it is the polar opposite, I put relationships first, with school secondary and everything else (sleep) a bonus. I don't blow people off for school, it just doesn't happen outside of school. Inside however I do it every single day. Free period and lunch I spend in the library, I prioritize my work over friendships during class and as a result the people at Bellamine see me completely differently than people anywhere else. Now the only people I can hang out with are the Catholic school kids. The only people I can have a good time with are the relationships that I have put zero effort/thought/caring into for the past three years. It is interesting. I want to clarify at this point, mostly because my pride doesn't want anyone to get the wrong idea; I have no self esteem problems. I have a ridiculously large amount of pride or self confidence or whatever you want to call it. It gets fed everyday at school, the fact that I avoid friendships and yet still am popular reinforces it. I have been reflecting on how much I care about people, how I care for them. For two years (1st sem freshman year not so much) I have cared for people at Bellarmine simply by relying on my overall "good person-ness" that's charm, kindness, sarcasm, intelligence. I felt like that was good. How could I be wrong? I am liked by pretty much everyone; from the kids that will go to Harvard to the kids that will end up at graduating at Valley. So why is God making me rely on these people now?
None of it was intentional. It all comes back to my good vs. God's good. I don't doubt that I was doing good, and I wanted it to be for God, but it is background, it is not something that I care about or work on.
This is another level of what I was exploring in the second week of this fast. A different angle of it, not something that I even considered before. I assumed that by retreating from southhills community I would discover things concerning that aspect of my life, and God defiantly has given me some huge implications, but now I have to deal with this aspect. I think it will be interesting.

God, this is a short amount of time, one month. You are cramming alot in. I don't know how this part of the experience is going to develop but I am excited to find out. I trust you.




Sidenote: 4 player free-for-all, first time playing, Fox ftw :-)

1 comment:

josh said...

nice job slipping a burn on valley into the journaling!

haha oh and nice job winning in brawl but you probably played with nubs, just wait till nate and i pound on you :)