Scripture: Psalm 39:3-4
"My heart was hot within me; While I was musing the fire burned. Then I spoke with my tongue: 'Lord, make me know my end, and what is the extent of my days. Let me know how transient I am.'"
OAP: I get frustrated. A friend of mine called frustration the Christian word for anger. It's pretty true. I look at a circumstantial impact on my emotions and call it frustration when it grates against my will or perspective. Really I'm just angry. Sometimes the fire just burns...it smolders within me.
I used to be a real hot head. One time, my parents actually had to pin me down because I got so angry I was going to hurt myself or one of them. Now I tend to be more passive aggressive, which still doesn't deal with the issues. Anger is typically pretty short-sighted....not taking into account the larger picture. You can become a harbinger of bitterness...holding on to things that end up hurting you from the inside out. You lose your perspective that you only have a few years on this earth. Maybe even precious few months with certain people. Is it worth holding a grudge?
I had a blessing this week that reminded me of my life like a vapor. An old friend contacted me out of the blue. Someone I knew in passing, but grew to know closely through a time of great pain. God revealed Himself in amazing ways to both of us during that time. It blessed my heart to hear how they were doing, and how God has continued to grow them.
This brings me back to the frustration thing. I realize that if there is emnity between me and others, it's a horrible way to live. In fact, Jesus made it clear that relationships were of upmost importance in the Kingdom of Heaven. It's critical to love others before ones self. Even if they were your enemy, to serve them. He called people to resolve things quickly. Don't let the sun go down on your anger...drop what you're doing and get right with people. Don't let the fire burn within you while you contemplate.
God. I'm smoldering. You know my heart, both good and bad. In my fleeting life I want to be a new creation. I want to be transformed. I desperately want you to make me new. Thank you for reminding me of the deep blessing that comes through relationships. I've had many unique seasons of relationships and I'm thankful for the season I'm in now.
1 comment:
Nate...
I wonder how many of us struggle with anger. Way back when, in my counseling classes, they taught us the "pop-psych' concept of "racket emotions," the place where you go when you aren't able to handle what's around you. They were (I seem to recall... dimly): mad (angry), sad (remorseful, melancholy), bad (depressed), and glad (happy... in a giddy or manic sort of way).
For me, it has always been mad... and the nasty part is that althought the fuse is hard to light, it's terribly short once it gets going... and there can be explosive results. Your thought about the anger smoldering is very insightful. I join with you in praying that THAT fire would be extinguished!
Thabnks for your post!
-Old Guy
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